Just Stwo

I’ve been thinking on this topic for quite a while and now that the blog is up, I have an outlet to express my feelings on this sensitive topic.  When I first met my girlfriend (going forward she will be known as Noodles, to protect her anonymity), about a year ago, we were completely enraptured with one another from the very first moment.  I am so lucky to have met a woman with her sense of humor, intelligence, determination, perseverance, and of course, beauty.   We spent countless days and nights together, sharing our thoughts and feelings on everything imaginable.  I definitely clued her in on my love for technology, and I’m sure she could tell that I had some geek in me from looking at my apartment.  I had the PC hooked up to the HD-TV, the iPhone, the Xbox 360, and a slew of other gadgets.  We even played some games together occasionally.  In fact, I was not even ashamed to tell her I was a World of Warcraft player. (I no longer play, but that’s another story)  She seemed to appreciate my geekiness as a charming part of my character.  Fast forward to 1 year later, and it seems to be causing a bit of a rift between us.  It is no longer charming, but quite the opposite.  I have definitely rubbed off on her with some things, but there are still many other points of contention between us, all related to geekery.

With this in mind, here is a list of do’s and don’ts that may or may not help you if you are in a relationship with someone who is sick of your love for all things tech.  Keep in mind, some of these have worked and some have not yet been tested.  Proceed at your own risk.  I may update this list as time continues and I learn more things that either work, or completely fail.

Let’s start with the (much shorter) list of things you can do to help your significant other become more receptive to your love for technology.

1. Buy her an iPhone.  One of the first things I began to hear incessantly is, “Put down the goddamn phone.” and “You’re always messing with your phone.”  Anyone who has an iPhone can understand that its not just a phone, its a life changing device. If you’re the type of person who always needs the answer to a question, or must be messing with some type of technology, what better way to do this than to have a computer in your pocket?  About 4 months ago, I helped Noodles get an iPhone.  Now she understands, to a certain extent, what all the fuss is about.  It must be an iPhone.  Not a BlackBerry, Windows Mobile, or Android device.  The iphone is very easy to pick up and play with.  It is quite intuitive.  I showed her how to use it, which was a fun time for the both of us, and just having this device empowered her within her circle of friends and colleagues.  Believe it or not, thanks to the iPhone, Noodles is now considered the geek in her circles.  She is always looking up answers, finding out movie times, maintaining her financial records, looking for restaurants, etc.  When it comes to the iPhone, she has become a mini-geek.  I introduced her to Sally’s Spa, and now she has an addiction to time management games.  Sometimes I even need to say, “Put down the goddamn phone”
2. Network your computers  and teach them how to use the network. (This most likely only applies with you live with your significant other)  If you love your computer, and I’m sure you do, you don’t want a noob messing with it when you’re not home.  As geeks, we all probably have a humongous music and movie collection on our computers.  A non-geek, now that she has an iPhone (or any mp3 player for that matter), will love the fact that you have every song known to man accessible for them to put on their device.  If you show them that they can access all of this music, and import it onto their device without messing with the intimidating supercomputer in the next room, they will feel much more comfortable with their own computer.  If you’re running a PC, I recommend using a program by Cisco Systems called Network Magic.  It makes sharing files and folders between computers significantly easier, and much less intimidating for your non-geek.  Another idea, if you have the hardware, is to hook up her computer to a television, or have a computer hooked up to a television in a a common room of the house.  If you’ve got lots of movies, hulu desktop, Netflix streaming, or some way to watch media from the computer on a television, they will always want to know how to do it and when new stuff to watch is available.  The only way for them to do this is to eather learn from yous, or to sit with you while you browse for new things to watch.  Both of these will bring your significant other deeper into the geek universe.
3. Never say, “one second, honey”. You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT allow your geekiness to interfere with the needs of your significant other.  I dont care if your’e about to down Hodir in Ulduar (unless, of course, you’ve agreed to block off some geek-time), finish that last line of code, or whatever.  You’ve got to show her/him that they are the most important thing in your life, not the computer.  This one is a bit more sensitive than others, because you cannot allow your significant other to constantly keep you from things you love to be doing, but balancing that is unique for every relationship, and delicate as well.
4. Block off some geek-time. This one is pretty simple.  If you know you need to geek out once, or even a few times a week, make sure your significant other knows, in advance, when these times are.  I learned this from playing World of Warcraft.  You cannot drop the game in the middle of a 25man raid for anything less than an emergency and expect to have people to play with when you come back.  If youve got some personal stuff to work on and need dedicated time to do it, you’ve got to make sure the time is blocked off.  It is also vital to stick to these times.  You cannot run late.  This is part of showing your significant other that they are more important than the digital world.
5. Be sure to help with any tech related issues with patience. When it comes to technology, your significant other knows you are smarter than them.  They know you can fix most issues that may come up with their computer, phone, PMP, and anything that buzzes and whirrs. If they have an issue with one of these things, odds are they will ask you for help.  The best way to do this is to not only help them, but to show them how to fix their issue as well as how to prevent it from occurring in the future.  You must be patient.  Realize that they are not as tech-savvy as you are.  You may have to explain fundamental concepts to even get them up to speed.  Most of all, know that if they are able to solve their own issues the next time, they will not only appreciate your geekiness a bit more, but be one step closer to their own state of geek.

Well, thats it for now on the list of things you CAN do.  Keep an eye out for the list of things you should not do.  I promise to have it up within a week’s time.  Remember, always show your significant other that they are more important than your love for technology.  If you don’t, you may find yourself alone.

If you have anything to add to this list of suggestions, please send out a tweet with the hashtag #nongeeklove.  I will be sure to credit you if your suggestion is used.

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